i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this will be a night to untag.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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