Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
