I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
