ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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