I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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