Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
