Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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