Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
