You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk is a universal language darling
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
