Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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