I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
