Whod you bang
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
