hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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