If i come over, it means nothing
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
