so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so let's talk penis.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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