I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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