My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
