I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
