Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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