I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
