i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
