a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
