so explain again why im purple
no
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
