I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
