I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
