she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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