We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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