My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
