in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
