I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Acid is not a monday night drug
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
