love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
no, he came in my armpit
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
