pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
