You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
