Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You made out with two different species that night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
