he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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