If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
