Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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