TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
