And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
