are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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