i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
