I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
