ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
