What a fucking waste of an outfit
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
