We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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