im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
