That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
