hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
