I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
