Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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