if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
