so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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